i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just got carded by a ten year old.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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