Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
