I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
