trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
