Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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