Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
