I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
