There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
