And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
