...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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