So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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