Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
