I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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