That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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