Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
