I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Randomize
