Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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