I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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