Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My butt remains clenched, sir.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
