mondays should just be called national damage control day
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
