"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
