Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
