And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
