Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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