I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
