Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
