Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
it glows. i had to have it.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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