Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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