Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
