A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
