Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize