can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize