Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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