Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize