Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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