i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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