he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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