Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
