doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
