I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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