I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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