I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
