U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just had sex on a roof
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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