Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
