addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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