I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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