sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
