i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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