What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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