life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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