he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
