I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She bit a glass in half.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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