i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize