Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
