why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
im holly from the hills drunk
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
