they need to just BURY HIM!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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