Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
