ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
