I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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