areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize