they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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