i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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