The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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