I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
There are leaves in my underwear?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
