They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I fill condoms, not promises.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
