I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
