My nipple is on Facebook.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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