Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Houston, we have a squirter
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Can vaginas get frostbite?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
