No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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