And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I did not marry a roomba.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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