please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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