She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you will always have a special place in my vag
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
