Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Come see our sink grown plant.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
