Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
is wine microwaveable?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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