Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
