In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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