I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize