Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
