Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
