Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize