Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize